Fetish Life - Choking Hazard: May contain Small Parts.
I feel like I shouldn't need to say this, and yet I do...just so that it's out there.
Men who assume that women get off on being choked during sex. Yes, some women do, but many and perhaps most, probably do not. Either way, in any event, it's not for you to decide what is right or wrong for her until you and her have discussed it together. If you're discovering that she enjoys the gift of breathing over her sexual pleasure and now wants to kick seven shades of shit out of you, then believe me, she should.
A lot of men have seen in Porn, be that on tumblr or Pornhub that women apparently like being choked. This gives you, the control-freak Bellend, a reason, an excuse to exact yourself, your inadequacies, your need to overpower a woman by bringing her close to harm. The trachea is a very important part of the human body and can be irreparably damaged through being compressed.
Choking may be the kink of some women, but you would know this while getting to know her, never assume. Never EVER assume.
I'm the kind of guy who women come to with stories pertaining to choking and being choked. They come seeking advice because of disastrous and fearful incidents around the assumption of and by general douchebags thinking it's 'globally okay' and 'trendy'. It saddens me that deeds like this would occur because you, the uncertain negligent man, have thought that ALL women must like it. They do not. It's an individual kink that some have, but it's not for you to decide that they are to suddenly like it.
Personally, breathplay/choking isn't really my thing. I enjoy an oxygen/nitrogen mix just too much to compromise my need for it. I have done breathplay and choking myself (both with my hands and silk scarves as a ligature), in my own journey as a Switch into a now Dominant/Daddy Dom. I have aided a submissive or three, in learning about their own love of breathplay, utilising my own soft and silky methods and have achieved some very surprising and mutually pleasing results. But I knew that breathplay was something they enjoyed before anything occurred because we both knew what we were getting in to and had spoken a LOT beforehand and on one of those occasions it wasn't even during an act of sex.
I have found in research that many Martial Arts and Bodybuilding pages are glorifying choking partners and encouraging it saying that it's now easier because of the new strength that guys are working up. Ummmmm, really? And people are calling it a 'trend' or a 'sex move', which is making it now a part of the Sexual Zeitgeist. NO.... JUST NO!!
Choking can be a very sexy and arousing act but it carries real risks and any part of making that risk safer is so assess and discuss. DO NOT ASSUME. It is NOT A TREND. It's not cool to choke someone. It is a private and personal kink that is really very, definitely not to be abused. The only sites I'm finding with the right context and communication about the matter are women's health sites. And rightly so, there’s a need to talk about it to an open readership.
Men, please, enjoy your porn, but it is not bible studies. In the avenue of sex the 'one rule for all' does not translate at all. Porn is not a relationship, it is performing, acting (for want of a better word) it's edited and structured for your enjoyment, to get you off and is beneficial for both male and female viewers.
But it is NOT a how-to guide. The sex you see in porn is not how those pornstars have sex in their own relationships. Their sex will be deeply personal and not for your knowledge or enjoyment.
If I hear stories about men hurting their other halves in an aggressive manner like this, against her wishes then I'll be bringing you a taste of your own medicine (and I know what I'm doing, so you had better watch out).
Safe, Sane and Consensual are big important words that sadly need to be drummed into a lot of men. I'm not ganging up on men in general, but the vast majority of stories, albeit all, which I've read about and heard from by too many friends, so far, have been at the hands of men.
Please people, communication is lubrication.
See the article shared on Facebook.