The Relationship Project
Welcome to another Kink's Korner! It's been a while and I sure missed writing this part of the magazine.
I’ve always wondered about those who live alternative lifestyles and how they came to discussing what their needs were in order for both to have a successful relationship.
I was thinking over the last few months about putting a project together, simply called, “The Relationship Project”.
The idea of this project is to have a better understanding of how couples communicate with one another and how they explore alternative lifestyles and incorporating those ideas in their lives.
Personally, one of the things I have found fulfilling is to be in an equal when it came down to the bedroom of exploring fetishes, however, out of the bedroom, I prefer to be the one in control and making the decisions of what’s best for us. Sadly, since 2009, I haven’t found that person. I use that last relationship as an example because it embodied what was important to me at the time.
“But Marabelle, I thought you were involved a year ago and recently broke up with someone…”
Yes, I did, but be as it may, that relationship failed in many ways from what I stood for.
Other than the lack of sex and the failure of his performance across the board, I can’t fairly use that as a true example of how we explored any personal fetishes in the bedroom and executing those ideas with a partner who was genuinely interested and not in the imagination of his mind.
In all of the years of working in my magazine, conducting interviews with ProDommes and Adult Stars, I was always curious to know what was it like to be on the other side of the camera. What was life like when it didn’t involve film, just them. I remember I had a friend who was married and he and his wife had an open relationship. Not swingers, per say, but they were allowed to have sex with others. When I asked him how did come to this decision, his response was, “those are the terms of our relationship.”
I didn’t ask any more because I felt I was invading and I didn’t want him to think I was judging in any particular way, but I was sure curious to know how they came to these decisions.
Of course for me, projects come in the time they are supposed to. I wanted to do this right and in order for me to do anything right, I needed to educate myself in my practice of writing. It’s important to me to ensure the couples I share their story, it’s told in a way we can all relate, respect and most importantly, understand.
Why was this important to me?
The most obvious reason, communication.
How do we communicate to our partner our inner most desires and how can we convey our feelings without fear scared or rejection about things we like and want to explore with someone we love?
I decided to begin exploring couples who are Swingers, Domme/submissive, Master/sub, and those who have incorporated fetish in their bedroom, for whom neither one sub or Dominate but practice both, better known as switches.
This will be a year long project which will include couples from all walks of life, who are willing to participate. (Anonymity is never an issue.)
The idea is how both of you as a couple came to the decision of how you live today and how these choices made both of your lives live with content and happiness. Were there ever challenges and how did you both sit down and discuss those challenges. Each couple involved in this project will get general questions, as well as personal questions, pertaining to the lives they live.
I’m excited to feature the first couple which I will be interviewing next week for the KEM TopTalk Interviews and Discussions Show (show date TBA). Most of you will know who this exciting couple is as they are very familiar to the public. I’m excited for this interview because I believe the true discussions on how they came to the decisions of their sexual exploration wasn’t given a fair chance to be shared appropriately.
While we can all make jokes about people’s sexual lives, the fact is, there are needs people have when it comes to the bedroom and what happens if those needs are not met?
Is the relationship doomed from the start if one lies they can comply and they can’t.
These are all realistic questions because as you read this, you too are wondering how you can share with your partner an innermost desire or need you would like met in the bedroom.
I am looking forward to you joining me on this journey as we explore couples in The Relationship Project.
If you’re interested in being part of The Relationship Project email firstname.lastname@example.org – You must be in a current relationship, practicing an alternative lifestyle and be prepared to share in depth about your life with your partner. Anonymity is not an issue. Be sure to enter on the subject line: “The Relationship Project – My Story”
For all shows be sure to log on to Skyhawk AfterDark – Your Adult and Erotic Talk Radio Station http://skyhawkafterdark.com/shows/kem-top-talk/