Thank you Amazonian Asha for being a part of our Kink~E Magazine Family!
What made you curious about the BDSM Lifestyle and how were you introduced to produce this lifestyle on a professional level?
I can say from a young age that I knew I would dominate men all of my life. I ever really had any curiosity towards BDSM per se, I Just always knew that I had dominant side.
Through sports and martial arts, I expressed my dominance. Especially when sparring or competing against men the feeling of overpowering and defeating them excited me.
I was introduced to the professional side of BDSM, when I responded to an advertisement looking for dominant females. I responded to the ad, and a Domme swan was born.
Were you mentored through learning the business and the lifestyle of Domination?
While my initial introduction was on the business side, I also began to see how much it fit into my personal lifestyle. I focused more on the lifestyle side, as I wanted to know more about the history, language, and different roles in the BDSM lifestyle. As I begin to understand more about the lifestyle, I was able to develop my skills and understanding of BDSM in order to better market myself. After working in a few dungeons, I found I was ready to venture on my own. I found working in a dungeon somewhat constricted me how I was being marketed to their liking.
How did you decide what type of Dominatrix you intended to market and brand yourself?
At first I didn’t understand the different types of Domme styles, and I varied on my styles. I found that the best way to brand myself was to be myself, and in doing so it was more of a natural flow, making myself and my clients comfortable. My style of domination varies, but my demeanor is constant.
Which specialty (or specialties) have become your favorite?
Physical domination was definitely my initial specialty, as I spent most of my years unknowingly dominating men in sports and martial arts.
Foot fetish, which is definitely one of my favorites. Growing up I was insecure about my big feet, now my feet are one of my greatest talented assets.
Pegging and Prostate Play is by far one of my fave sessions. I consider myself a Prostate and Strapon Specialist. The first time I pegged a guy, I loved it and learned more to improve my techniques. Combined with my strength and knowledge, I became a natural born prostate milking pegger. I have done things with one finger, some can’t even do with a cock!
Once you got your feet wet, what was the feeling like when you ventured on your own and doing sessions without any mentorship (if any)?
Well while I had some mentorship, it was basically sink or swim. You can learn the basics, but I still had to apply the basics in a way that suitable and comfortable for me. It was exciting to begin and able to really express and try new things, attending events, and meeting new people in the scene.
How important is it for you to continue your personal education in keeping with the safety for sessions and what precautions did you take to ensure you and your clients were safe at all times? Does it include CPR?
With a background in Health and Fitness I am certified in First Aid/CPR. Understanding one's physical limitations and health history is a vital part of engaging in any type of BDSM activity. Safety precautions include inquiring about their health history, regardless of age, as well as understanding and respecting their limits.
Why is it important for a client to disclose any personal health issues?
When engaging in most BDSM play there are Increases in heart rate, blood pressure, and dopamine levels, all of which can adversely affect a clients health. There are also other issues such as ED (erectile dysfunction), injuries or surgeries which can also affect an individual during a session.
Why is the mind fuck element important?
Any form of sex is 90% mental and 10% physical. Anyone can make a dick cum, but I like to make the mind cum!
Mind fuck element is a important part of the sexual psyche, as the slightest word or image can positively or negatively alter one's sexual state of mind. Deep penetrating mind fuck is finding things one never realized they liked or wanted. Having them realize only you can give it to them, then it turn it becoming a necessity.
Have you ever thought of a session later in the day that could have been done differently?
Not really, as I am good at reading cues and body language. When I sense some type of uncomfortability in a client, I ensure them that they have the choice to end the session, or simply just talk. You'd be surprised how many felt more comfortable after simply just talkin about their fantasies, alleviating any doubt or concerns.
Have you or do you travel?
I do, and have traveled many places within the U.S, and some international locales such as Thailand, Paris, London, and Germany!
Running Your Business
Which one do you find more lucrative, in person sessions or online sessions?
I started in the era of real-time session, but with the advancement of social media, I find that online sessions can also be lucrative if the proper marketing techniques are applied. And online sessions is a great introduction to those looking to test the waters before diving head first into a real time session.
How important is anonymity for your client especially when clips sites have become the branding for viable your business brand.
When it comes to client’s anonymity, I never disclose who they are or what they do, unless it is part of their fantasy. Even then, there’s a fine line in maintaining some type of anonymity. As far as mine own anonymity is concerned, I don’t concern myself with being exposed, as everyone I know is quite aware of kinky profession.
What are your thoughts about sharing your personal life or others exposing their own personal life (pictures of family members, etc.)? As a ProDomme, is it wiser to keep your professional and family life separate?
While my family and others are aware of my profession and lifestyle, I don’t think they should have to be exposed to it. I don’t feel the need to talk about every detail or any session for that matter amongst family, I always enjoy explaining the roles and concepts of BDSM, rather than the session, so they can understand the dynamic, before judging the action.
Have you had to change any vetting system while the growth of the internet continues to evolve so that you don’t run into any issues with fake subs trying to not pay for their time? (It’s okay if you do not choose to detail your vetting system).
Without disclosing too much, as the trolls and fakes are probably reading this as well, but I have a fantastic memory and I always ensure I do my research when dealing with time wasters.
Was there ever a time you had to turn someone down from serving you? What suggestions (if any) did you give in order for a sub to improve?
My only reason for ever turning down a session is because it did not interest me. I’d rather engage in sessions that interest me, regardless of the amount offered. I would be doing a disservice to myself and the client, as neither party would enjoy it making for a rough interaction.
Social Media and Community
How important are the aspects of mentoring and the relationship you have with mentors and/or mentees?
When it comes to mentoring, while you’re not only teaching, you’re also encouraging and respecting their identity, allowing them to blossom into a beautiful Domme swan.
Too many mentors try to push their style, or view onto others rather than focusing on the power exchange roles, concepts and skills associated with BDSM.
What do you think of the ‘instaDomme’ phenomena? Are these young ladies looking to make a quick buck or perhaps finding their place and following suit from inexperienced ladies.
There are some looking for a quick fix, and those looking to expand their knowledge of BDSM. They are used to instant gratification, because probably in their personal lives they are used to instantly gratifying others, finding a quick fix in money, as well as the feeling of power and dominance. Then they dwindle as they find it difficult to find ways to meet or retain clients.
How can a slave distinguish the difference a Domme who understands the level of the lifestyle and someone who is just asking for money?
Ask the questions your mind wants to know, don’t ask your dick! Research your Domme, ask the right questions and see if she is familiar with the terminology. Ask if she has attended events, or what other Dommes she may know are referral.
There are those who use their social media platforms to express opinions about BDSM which are not highly regarded as constructive criticism and can be quite hateful, (i.e. kink shaming). Is it a good idea to express hateful opinions, or express yourself in a general term or say nothing at all?
Well sometimes girls will be girls, but never women!
There are certain incidences which necessitate criticism such as watching a Domme who has violated boundaries to the point where it is not BDSM but rather abuse! And if one chooses to express their opinion, they also have to be ready for any backlash associated with it.
Domme bashing yea or nay? Why is it important for you and as a community to support the lifestyle and stand with other Dommes?
Definitely a NAY!! It amazes me when members within the BDSM community who judge and bash their peers, making them no different from the vanilla world bashing us for our lifestyle choices. It’s BDSM not PCSM!
Offer advice or guidance which is useful, rather than critical or judgmental. We all started out as “baby” Dommes once, without any knowledge or experience. If we don’t educate and motivate within our community , how can we expect to educate those outside of the BDSM community.
Have we come in such ways with social media where it may be difficult to trust other Dommes?
You can trust the internet! But that doesn’t mean you can reach out other Dommes to network or socialize. Most of the Dommes I’ve reached out to have been very open and engaging, while there are others who aren’t!
I think it more so, other Dommes are apprehensive when engaging with other Dommes as they feel they might be judged for not having a similar aesthetic!
How important is it in developing a strong social media presence in order to promote your business accordingly?
While I am still fairly new to social media, it is the main source of advertising, due to it wider engagement. Since the SESTA/Fosta inception, it has been more difficult to navigate around the different rules per site. It’s all about consistency, content, cross marketing, and networking.
As JAy Z said "I'm not a businessman, I'm a business man". What you put out is what you get in return.
You have experienced having your Instagram account suspended countless times. You do not appear naked in any post I have seen, yet you keep having these experiences. Why do you think this is happening?
Partly due to trolls who just keep reporting my profile and the internet mafia of Instagram and Facebook. If you’re not making them money, then you’re not making money! Being on Instagram jail numerous times, I’ve picked up some tricks and methods for escaping! LOL!
Do you believe the FOSTA/SESTA has affected the way people post on social media or the internet as a whole?
Absolutely! Sites are constantly changing their TOS, regarding banned words, images, or terms. It is constantly fluctuating, so that involves more research in being aware of what’s acceptable and what not from site to site.
Do you think most people are misinformed in what they are reading online and take one line of what they read and spread it around social media as if they are an expert in TOS (Terms of service) and misinform everyone else?
Well that, I say reading is fundamental, otherwise being misinformed is no fun when it makes you mental! Again it goes back to doing ones research and fact checking information through various outlets rather than just one.
How important is it for each Domme to do their own research and not rely just on their associates and social media as a whole to find information in order for them to conduct a safe business?
Very important, especially when it comes to understanding the business and marketing aspect. While social media can be helpful providing the most current updates, it also can spread misinformation like a virus...Social media should be used for marketing and social engagement, rather than a source of information or news.
All About You
What are some of the lessons you have learned so far in life, professionally or personally? Did these lessons come with difficulty and make you who you are today?
There are always more lessons to be learned. I have found that applying my professional lessons to my personal life, while I was always dominant, I have learned to apply the aspects knowledge of BDSM to everyday life, not just to sessions. In doing so, I have developed a more calm demeanor, and assertiveness which allows me to control the outcome of any situation. If a slave who licks the bottom of my shoe is expected to treat me with respect, so should everyone else.
What memories of your life always keep you grounded?
Always remembering my weak moments in life I have conquered, because let’s face it LIFE is the hardest bitch to dominate! And so far I have made life my bitch!
What are some of ‘must do’ your rituals before beginning your day (i.e. drink coffee, meditate, etc)?
Smoke some good greens, exercise, and listen to some motivating music which suits my mood for that specific day.
If you left the BDSM life tomorrow, what would you want your slaves and your peers to remember most about what you taught them?
The BDSM life doesn’t leave you!!!! Or will ever leave me at least
Advice to new ladies coming on board and discovering their FemDom side?
Embrace your power and dominance and apply it to every aspect of your life! And always be yourself, as you will find that it will make your experiences more genuine. There’s a difference between being dominant and acting dominant, and knowing this difference will enhance every aspect of your life...
And now your social media and websites:
We also want welcome Asha to the Kink~E Nation Directory