What Your Pro-Domme Does for You
(Hint: It’s More Than Just a Great Beating)
By Lady Grace Doucet, 2020
Maybe you’ve fantasized about your kink your whole life, or maybe you’ve come to realize it more recently. Either way, it’s an urge that nags at your mind and draws you into a haze of daydream regularly. There’s a problem, though: you haven’t had the opportunity to meet anyone who can adequately fulfill that desire. It’s specific, after all, and it’s intense, and it’s not exactly the sort of thing that you can teach someone. No, for what you have in mind, a professional BDSM practitioner is the only logical choice to get your needs met.
That’s not just “okay,” that’s very smart of you! Professional Dominas have earned Their skills through years of experience and training. They are in the very unique position to help you explore every nook and cranny of your kink. They can even teach you more about it, and guide you in expanding further and further into the joy that is your own personal heaven.
More than that, though, you will come to understand a plethora of other benefits that can grace you in session and beyond.
Our Experience Keeps You Safe (Enough)
Those years of experience come with significant amounts of direct education and training in the fine art of hurting you without necessarily injuring you. Yes, your Domme most likely has a natural-born dominant personality, but no one is born knowing how to tie the perfect single-column rope cuff suitable for suspension or how to read your body language if you can’t catch your breath enough to use your safeword. Pro-Dommes routinely attend meet-ups, seminars, and events to learn everything They can about numerous practices, devices, and techniques. There are even conventions all over the world for BDSM practitioners and kinksters, like Dallas’ own South Plains Leatherfest in March and the Bondage Expo in April, 2020.
BDSM as a Positive Mental Health Practice
While We acknowledge that BDSM has had a rough and unsavory reputation throughout history (thanks, De Sade), it is not at all uncommon to find that your session with a Pro-Domme leaves you in a significantly more relaxed and mentally positive state that can last for days. Intense physical interactions in a secure environment with someone you trust creates the same types of brain chemical reactions as the “extreme pleasure ecstasy” stage of human relationships: dopamine, oxytocin, and norepinephrine (the “happy, go do things!” neurotransmitters) go way up, and serotonin (the stabilizer “be boring” neurotransmitter) goes way down as Sayin described in his SexuS paper in 2019.
Many Pro-Dommes report that They consider Their responsibility to Their submissives to be as critical as a therapist – and often Their experiences with those subs produces a highly mentally therapeutic result. Science is starting to realize this as well: Researchers found that submissives regularly achieved an altered consciousness state (transient hypofrontality) similar to hardcore runners and intense exercise nuts, leaving them with personally transformative experiences that enhanced every other part of their lives. This is more commonly known in the scene as “subspace,” and it is the mental and emotional equivalent of a full sexual release experienced with a stable, loving partner: overall physical and emotional stress is significantly reduced as your capacity for healthy intimacy is increased.
The Gift that Keeps on Giving
For your part, once you’ve been subjected to Her tender mercies, you will find that you can come to know yourself far more than you ever could in any other context. In one study, they found that men who engaged in BDSM experienced significantly less psychological distress in every part of their lives compared to men who did not engage in BDSM. In fact, BDSM practitioners, which includes people on both sides of the “whip,” were, in general, significantly less neurotic, more open to new experiences, more conscientious, less rejection sensitive, and had higher subjective well-being than the control, non-BDSM group.
Submission, especially with a Pro-Domme, is a special treat that teaches you more about yourself. Your responsibility as a submissive is to communicate your needs and desires clearly with your Domme, and then to surrender to Her expertise. You are still expected, however, to express a limit with the use of your safe word, a concept that many submissives find allows them to establish healthy boundaries in other parts of their lives.
So, though BDSM might be considered a “fringe activity” or “something naughty to liven things up in the bedroom,” the real potential of benefit for you goes way beyond a tickle in the pants. And, lucky you, you’re already here and already know that your Pro-Domme is the most qualified person to grant you those gifts.
Ambler, J. L. (2017). “Consensual BDSM facilitates role-specific altered states of consciousness: A preliminary study.” Psychology of Consciousness: Theory, Research, and Practice, 4(1), 75-91. https://doi.org/10.1037/cns0000097
Bondage Expo Dallas. April 30 to May 3, 2020, http://www.bondageexpodallas.com/
Dietrich, A. (2003, June). “Functional neuroanatomy of altered states of consciousness: The transient hypofrontality hypothesis.” Consciousness and Cognition, 12(2), 231-256. https://doi.org/10.1016/S1053-8100(02)00046-6
Lindemann, D. (2011). “BDSM as Therapy?” Sexualities, 14(2), 151-172. https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/abs/10.1177/1363460711399038
Pitagora, D. (2013). “Consent vs. Coercion: BDSM Interactions Highlight a Fine but Immutable Line.” The New School for Social Research, 10(1), 27-36. Retrieved from https://ktci.education/wp-content/uploads/2018/03/Consent-vs-Coersion.pdf
Pitagora, D. (2017, November). “No Pain, No Gain?: Therapeutic and Relational Benefits of Subspace in BDSM Contexts.” Journal of Positive Sexuality, 3(3), 44-54. Retrieved from https://journalofpositivesexuality.org/wp-content/uploads/2017/10/No-Pain-No-Gain-Therapeutic-and-Relational-Benefits-of-Subspace-in-BDSM-Pitagora.pdf
Richters, J. D. (2008, July). “Demographic and Psychosocial Features of Participants in Bondage and Discipline, “Sadomasochism” or Dominance and Submission (BDSM): Data from a National Survey.” Journal of Sexual Medicine, 5(7), 1660-1668. https://doi.org/10.1111/j.1743-6109.2008.00795.x
Sayin, H. S. (2019, March). “Neuroanatomy and Neurochemistry of Sexual Desire, Pleasure, Love and Orgasm.” SexuS Journal, 4(11), 907-946. Retrieved from http://www.sexusjournal.com/FileUpload/bs566760/File/sayin-schenck-nchemistry-desire-pleasure-org-sexus-winter-2019-v-4-no-11-part-2.pdf
South Plains Leatherfest, International Master/slave Weekend. March 12 to March 15, 2020, http://www.southplainsleatherfest.com/
Wismeijer, A.V. (2013, August). “Psychological Characteristics of BDSM Practitioners.” Journal of Sexual Medicine, 10(8), 1943-1952. https://doi.org/10.1111/jsm.12192
Yost, M. H. (2012, May). “BDSM practitioners’ understandings of their initial attraction to BDSM sexuality: essentialist and constructionist narratives.” Psychology and Sexuality, 3(3), 244-259. https://doi.org/10.1080/19419899.2012.700028