Originally published in 2011
Well, here goes!
Pro name: Virage
How long have you been a Dom? - Well, that's a tricky question. I guess you could say all my life, but my "awakening" came when I was about 18.
Formal training - I'm very old school with this. I'm a firm believer that every Dominant should really receive some sort of training for myriad reasons. Safety of course, but also to enhance the experience for both parties. Quite frankly I feel that submissives need good training as well, as I've seen some very poorly behaved subs.
I was trained in a very old school manner - by a very thorough eastern European Domina who was tired of seeing badly behaving males in Dominant roles - so I actually had to serve for two years as a submissive under her tutelage. I learned a lot! At the time, my girlfriend, who was considerably older than I, was a true maso, so the joke was I was receiving "on the job training!" hahaha!
Life - How? My first girlfriend, when I was out of high school, was very much into the scene, and she took me to a long gone S/M club in New York. Wow! It was like a bolt from the blue! She had said that from the moment she met me she just "knew" I was a Dominant, and had to break me form my shell. I had seen a lot of S/M porn before that, but I never thought that people actually did this "for real." I knew this was my life.
Hidden? Well, that depends! Ha! I kept my fetish hidden from my family, as I was raised in a strong, evangelical, "born again" household, and I had a great deal to lose should I had been exposed. My mom worked for a well known TV evangelist at the time, and I really had to keep things under wraps at home, as I was still living in their house. I had started to do porn at that time as well, so there was a great deal to hide at home! However, I was quite proud of my role in the fetish community and the great many friends I had. In my later years I've been more "out" about my fetish.
Sadism can be very extreme. However, not all sadism is in the physical. I've done some incredibly sadistic and INTENSE sessions using nothing but some restraints, a blindfold and gag, and my voice - and I had the sub literally quivering with fear! Electricity is one of my favorite things and I love using it. I have all manner of electrical toys ranging from a violet wand to Zeuss, Rimba, PES ,Folsom, and Eros-Tek boxes as well as full blown Electro convulsive therapy machine from a mental hospital! I use electricity in a variety of ways and incorporate it with other things.
I had a sub that really got off on interrogation, so I had her thoroughly restrained and the room darkened, with "zaps" from the violet wand every so often, but with the glow visible at all times. Even though it's "only" static electricity, by the time we were 15 minutes into the session she was thrashing against the restraints!
More extreme, cruder forms of sadism in my past have included the Rack - yes, a REAL one - I built it myself, - intense floggings and paddlings, and I "denailed" someone with a special pair of pliers made just for the task! One toe nail was suitable! I'm not that good with a single tail, but eventually I think I can incorporate that as well Truly, my sadistic art knows few limits. I've even used a large tub for dunking!
What do I do - well, a lot of that depends on who I'm with. In professional, paying sessions, I have to make sure that the client is getting what she (or he) is looking for, but not so neatly packaged that it becomes so sterile and boring as to lose the "edge" of what is happening. When I'm playing with play partners or at a fetish party, I tend to keep things light, at least at first, as many people aren't able to handle what I can dish out.
Won’t do? There's very little I won't do. I won't do a "rape scene" no matter what. I don't do scat or brown. GROSS!
Subs breaking the rules - Yes, I've had disobedient subs. But when it's a violation that truly angers me, I rarely punish with physical pain, as that is what the sub frequently wants, but I usually respond with something else - less desirous to the sub.
I have played and sessioned with both male and female subs. Males can be fun, but females can really take it! Women can handle way more than men in the pain and punishment departments. The more exotic the scene, the more a woman will respond.
A must have? Well, communication is key and before every session I make sure that the sub and I understand one another completely as far as limits and such. I always like to incorporate a bit of sadistic humor and sarcasm into a session as well.
Privacy - That depends. I'm fairly open with my fetish and sexuality, so I'm not too worried about that. A sub may want privacy in a paying session or a play partner may require it.
As a male Dom - I frequently get a lot of attention from sub males. I think a lot of guys would like to try submitting to a male Dominant, but they scared of the "gay" tag even though it doesn't mean that a guy is gay or bi by subbing to a male Dominant. Submissive females are very attracted but generally, are reluctant to make the first move so some of the old vanilla norms still can apply.
As far as being submissive, read above!
Describe - Well, the best way to describe what I do is that I provide a "thrill ride" - a roller coaster, if you will, for those who desire it. One can get close to the edge, but always be in safe hands. It's power exchange. It's about submitting one's will - to another. It's about protocol, and desire. It's about extreme play and intense sensations.
Education - well I touched a bit on that before, but I feel it's a good thing to review. I believe that education is VERY necessary to those in the scene, whether they are lifestyle, pro, or both. So important is the emphasis that I freely share what I know in classes I teach with a variety of organizations and parties
YES! I very much take the time to train others. I want the knowledge to live on!
Non-experienced people - Well, quite frankly, this isn't for everyone. Some people just don't "get it". But, everyone has to start somewhere. Even the most famous Domina or Master had to start someplace, they didn't just appear. So, I'm very tolerant of those who are inexperienced or "newbies." I was a newbie once too!
The benefits and rewards - Well, there's a certain satisfaction, a "meshing of gears" in my soul and heart that only comes from a session or scene well done. It's very difficult to explain When a sub says "WOW that was INTENSE!" I know I've done well! Also, there are very few of me in the fetish world, so exclusivity is a benefit - to me anyway.
My advice to a vanilla - would be to READ. Read all they can, and avoid diving into extreme things too early on. Start slow n' easy. Many people watch S/M porn and see all the exotic stuff but they have no idea of just exactly WHAT it is that is happening in the scene they are viewing. I've had people, clients and play partners, go into panic a few minutes into a session or scene because it was just too intense for them, even though it was what they wanted initially. Don't get me wrong, I LOVE porn, heck, I was IN porn for years, but you have to approach this with reality in mind as well.
Some men are intimidated, but more often, I encounter intense envy and jealousy. Many men want to live my life, but few have the physical and mental discipline to do so. I rarely "come off strong". I'm known as the "Gentleman Dom" for a reason. Good manners and proper speech and etiquette are far more menacing than gruff, crude behavior. In fact, the majority of my emails lately are from women asking - no - BEGGING me to teach their husbands how to be a gentleman, how to groom properly, work out and lose weight, and be the man that they really want. Many men have wives who are secretly submissive but the guy is scared shitless on what and how to go about it!
One last thing - I LOVE Kink~E Magazine!
Taking Command, In Charge, No Further Discussion,