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Calm Your Fears - Preparing to experience a Mm Dominant for the First Time

June 2, 2018

Recently I had the honor of introducing a straight male to M/m power exchange play. He had some experience in BDSM play and in submitting to a Dominatrix, but never a Dominant. This took great courage from him and required building up some trust in advance via email. There was much anxiety and fear to work through before he was ready to go forward, yet his curiosity kept him going and his genuine interest and willingness to push his own boundaries kept me patient. within moments of his arriving at the dungeon and meeting me in person, his fears dissipated and he was ready to begin his exploration in a whole new area of kink. Below is a compendium of some of the responses I sent to him.

As your Master it is my duty, my commitment and my honour to ensure your safety, look out for your well-being and see that your needs are met. I am here to lead you, guide you, protect you and care for you on this journey. You have chosen to give yourself to me and pledged to do my will. I respect and commend that. It is a brave and beautiful thing. I do not take it lightly.

We must first put your mind at ease. You must learn to embrace your nervousness as excitement and not anxiety. Calm your fears and trust in me. Understand that you are safe with me. I am here for you. Place your trust and faith in me and it will not be broken. Nothing must come between you and your chance to possess something you yearn for, hunger for and dream of. You deserve this. You have earned this. You must accept no less.

We're going to celebrate your fantasies and make them come true. We're going to play, engage and connect together. You and I - Dom and sub, Sir and boy. Side by side on a journey through your dreams and sexuality. It's going to be exciting, fulfilling and satisfying in a way you may never have experienced before. You will feel lighter, happier, relaxed and joyful. I will make it so.

You may have limited experience but I do not. I will guide you. You will have questions for me and concerns that must be addressed. You must be open and frank with me. Tell me exactly what your fears and apprehensions are so that I can banish them from your mind. Let me chase the darkness away.

 

I understand that your life outside the dungeon is a very precious and fragile thing. You have relationships and attachments you do not want compromised. You are in a high-profile position in a very conservative and cut throat profession. Understand that I am not here to interfere or destroy any of that. Discretion is a cornerstone of my trade, both for you and me. The dungeon I host in is a clean, professional, well thought-out environment planned specifically for this purpose. It is a kink and fetish studio - not a dark and dingy medieval torture chamber. While we are in the space it is ours alone - you will never run into anyone coming or going. You can walk up to the door confidently and no one will be any wiser. I have many high-powered business men in prominent positions like yourself in my service. They range from regional managers to CEO’s. They choose to return to me time and time again not only because they found the experience immensely satisfying, but also because they know I am a safe way to celebrate their passions. They feel safe with me. You will too. Remember, I am your Master and I will protect and care for you.

Because many people like you need to keep their BDSM life and their secular life separate, many have no one to share the experience with or talk to about it. I invite you to use me for this purpose. You can tell me as much about your life outside your relationship with me or as little as you feel comfortable with. Many of my clients choose to tell me highly personal things - they feel a bond with me and know they can trust me. I am a person they can express themselves to, vent to and confide in without judgement, remorse or risk of any kind. Other clients only share with me what they need to in order to do the scene and ensure their other lives remain enigmatic mysteries. It's your choice, you are safe either way.

You never need worry about meeting my expectations. This isn't about what I expect; it's about where you are in your journey and what you are ready to experience. My only expectation is that you allow yourself to have a good time. Cut yourself some slack. There will be areas you will learn fast in and others that will take more time. Things you find you love and other things you find don't work for you. Also trying everything doesn't mean you will like everything. You are always free to decline or say that something just isn't for you. What I offer is safe, sane and consensual. Very few are truly able to accept everything consensually because many things are not safe for them and not sane for them and that's okay.

I am very pleased that you want to try everything, but we don't need to try everything during your first session. You may have heard the saying, "Life is a banquet, and most poor suckers are starving to death". Well BDSM is a buffet - fill your plate with what you like and dig in. But there is no need to eat everything on your plate if it's not what you were hoping for. Also remember there is no need to cram a little of everything on your plate on your first pass. You can always go back and sample more things later. Savour what you choose and enjoy every taste on your plate. Go for quality rather than quantity.

It's not a race. Enjoy the process. I'm not going to force you to do anything or go anywhere that you aren't interested in. I will give you safe words that will tell me when you need to slow down or if you need the scene to come to a complete stop. Don't be worried about your pain tolerance or what level you are at. Domination doesn't depend on infecting pain - it is only one facet. If it is something you want to try or are interested in, by all means we can examine that. I am constantly monitoring you as part of the scene to ensure you are enjoying yourself.

One of my favorite sayings is that trust is the sexiest thing in the world and that's a large part of why I enjoy BDSM. It is something I respect and hold dear. In my care, you may bask in the knowledge that you are safe allowing you to flourish and thrive as you delve into a part of yourself that has been neglected far too long. Jump in - you are safe with Master Wolfgang.

 

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