Let’s start off with your book and your initial inspirations of writing this. Why did you think it was a necessity?
The reason for writing the book was due in part of my success on Niteflirt. Daily I received messages from others asking me to help them. While I love nothing more than to help others, I soon fell short in time in the day to help others and be able to get my work done. I looked for resources but couldn’t find anything all encompassing for transitioning girls from companies to being independent and then how to thrive in this space. I felt this book was needed for our community.
You started in 2005 which was definitely a different time compare to what is going on today. What has changed for you and for women in this industry all vying to make top dollar?
I will admit that back in 2005 and even 2010, it was far easier to make insane money without much work. Even then though, those who did take their craft seriously found they made way more than others. Search engines were once more friendly to adult sites and most platforms had no problem with adult content. I once had a fetish based youtube channel that had over 300,000 subscribers until Youtube changed their terms of service. There was once far fewer girls in the industry then too. IN FACT, the community used to turn on anyone doing interviews and talking about what they were doing. There was fear that if too many girls came in, it would stop being profitable. I can tell you now though, that hasn’t been true!
While it’s important to be disciplined when you’re working for yourself or even a company, what is that discipline comes slow, what are your suggestions on making it work for the individual?
Discipline is difficult when you work for yourself. It is INSANELY hard truth be told, especially if you are young. We are raised with a parent/adult telling us to wake up for school and then if you do a vanilla job, you KNOW you HAVE to be there a certain time or risk job loss. It is super hard to schedule your time and stick to it, knowing you are technically allowed to break this schedule at any time.
I tell people, treat yourself like an employee. Your bank account is your boss. Taking time off now to hang out with a friend who is in town would not fly at a 9-5 job so don’t let it fly with you. Set hard work times and an agenda for what you want to accomplish tomorrow, so that you awake to a to do list. Get ALL of it done before you are allowed to ‘play’. Finish early? Nope, go work on some of the stuff that has been back burner. Work your 8 hours a day! PERIOD! DO know that you get your 2 weeks of vacation too, but only after you put in the work to earn it!
I remember working for a phone sex company that was out of date with technology but it seemed to work for them. They were adamant about having a landline and no call waiting.
Why do you think that makes a difference as opposed to just using your cellular phone?
I would hate to encourage anyone to break the rules, but I have worked at a company where they required a landline. Granted this was 7 years ago and I did leave the company pretty quickly but… no. My cell phone works perfectly fine. Yes, there sometimes are issues, but most landlines are actually VOIP these days anyways. In my area, it is actually super expensive now to get an actual land line from the phone companies as they are trying to phase them out. Most office stores do not offer cheap phones for landlines either. I truly think there isn’t much of a difference and can be far worse quality then good cell phones these days.
Building rapport with clients, should it begin from the first call or after a few calls?
Think about building an intentional friendship, when it comes to rapport with your customers. This is a person you know you want to be friends with, so when should you start trying talk with them? NOW! A person’s favorite subject is themselves and if you can show that you are truly interested in them, they will watch the minutes tick by without thinking about it! Start by working a fun but short question to ask your new customers after you introduce yourselves. Something insightful and silly that will open that floor right up.
I like your ideas of sounds and making the calls as realistic for the person who’s looking for a realistic fantasy. How did you find these ideas?
Oh making noises on a call, yeah this really helps a customer get into their head! I learned how to make noises on a call because I had this caller that just LOVED the sound of a wet pussy. He wanted me to put my phone down and rub myself till I came… for hours. I am not kidding, some calls went three hours! Try as I did, my little 18-year-old self could not masturbate for that long on a nightly basis. On calls, I typically was doing small things around my apartment too. So to solve this problem, I began to create simulated noises. Same went with a caller who liked to hear me rub myself and walk in high heels. Well it was his fantasy, and he was the director, so I had to learn to make more noises. Soon, I created a journal so I could remember how to do each and everything guys requested, without troubling myself too much.
I remember I got a call once from a person who called me the “n” word. We all live in a realistic world where we will get one hate call or another. Then again is a hate call, maybe someone’s fantasy of using certain words that turn them on. I’m a personal crossroads with this because words like that are not a fantasy or turn on for me. What would you suggest in handling these type of calls?
I personally am half black and half white. I watched my dad get jumped in the early 90's for being with a white woman in the South. I hate racism, but I do allow racial humiliation requests on platforms that still allow it. Reason being, most who request it are of that race. I have yet to have had a white supremacist call me on an account where my character is white and request a racial humiliation call. It simply has never happened to me, though I am sure some have with other people. I still have a hard time finding it that common to be a concern.
My suggest for handling it is know your limits. Some people can not separate the fantasy and taboo fun of it with the actual act. If it is something you do not want to do, don’t. BUT do not judge those who it is their kink. In most cases, it is only sexy because it is considered naughty. These are not actually self hating black guys calling me but rather upstanding men getting off to something ‘naughty’.
I have learned that many of the men (at least in my case) that make these calls are people who have fantasies which aren’t necessarily acceptable but looking for an outlet without physically acting out. Some of these calls can go for more than an hour. The idea is making money but what if some calls become unbearable.
You mentioned mantras in your book, have these helped and can they help others?
Mantras have absolutely helped me when the bills had to be paid and I was on a call I was uncomfortable with. I am NOT saying take a call to pay the bills if you simply can not but for some situations, I can understand if you do not have a choice. I learned of using mantras from another PSO when I looked to her for help with some adult baby calls. Adult baby is fairly innocent to some but some aspects make me gag. She taught me how to ‘meditate’ while still talking and being conscious. I stayed in the moment but also mentally checked out. I truly do believe it can help others too!
When beginning the journey into this type of industry what is the most important thing one should prepare for?
The things I wish I knew before I became a phone sex operator, oh the list could be huge! I know it sounds cliché but be open-minded. I take a lot of calls I never would have felt comfortable with at first. It took time and easing myself in and research. Many believe you just grab a phone and go. NO! If you want this as a career, you have to school yourself. Sadly there are no college degrees in Fetishes just yet but there is a plethora of places to go online! Also be prepared to say, “I am sorry, I am not familiar with that particular kink, want to teach me?” Customers LOVE to teach and you can get paid to learn! Literally!
You talk about companies and what to look out for when it comes to working for them. One of things you address is proper training. What training should an operator look for in order to enhance their call volume? How long should such training last before they can actually be on real time calls?
When starting at a company, you want them to teach you more than just how to use their system or the rules of the company. You want them to teach you about how to open up a call, get the customer talking and tricks for extending the call. They need to listen in on some of your test calls and tell you if you are talking too fast. REALLY goodcompanies will have recordings of previous calls that were awesome for you listen too. One company I worked at had a library of calls and would pay you about 2 cents a minute if you wanted to listen to them for training purposes. No 2 cents is not a lot but they didn’t want girls just listening to training calls all day obviously!
I believe that training should be a few hours (about 4) before they unleash you. The first two hours should be teaching the basics of the company and what to expect and the last two should be you taking 1-4 calls with the call monitor listening in and then giving feedback after the call.
I think one of the most important notes is talking for free. One such company I worked for had a five minute free spot. In these five minutes, I had to get their credit card info and a phone number to call them back after the credit card went through successfully on the company’s credit card portal. Does this ruin the momentum of the call?
It is really tricky to make taking credit card information sexy. During this time, many guys will try to ‘milk’ the minutes to get aroused. For the serious guys though, they have no problem paying and then getting their treat. Thankfully, most of the days of girls collecting the info is behind us. Guys can pay online for most sites anymore. I would always try to select a company where you didn’t have to deal with the payment information because it can ruin a guy wanting to get off and come off as unsexy.
2018 has a great many changes and challenges for the adult industry? Those who are currently working as an operator, are they benefiting due to live one to one sessions or is this industry hurting?
I would say that SESTA and FOSTA has hurt the phone sex industry but has not weakened it too much. Many of the places we advertised have changed their terms of service, which has made life difficult. Like it has always been though, the sex industry as a whole and especially phone sex is ever adaptable. We just need to remember to follow rules of the platforms we are on and keep a vigilant eye on new alternatives that will pop up!
What are the best ways to promote without getting your social accounts cut off and without just relying on one source?
RULES RULES RULES are there for a reason. You can promote on social media sites without breaking the rules. Even PLAYBOY has a facebook page, which FB is notorious for hating adult content. I would say have three major social media platform presence and point your more nonadult oriented sites to your adult stuff. Go on your Facebook page and say HEY! I have just uploaded a new video to my members area, or I have a new sexy video on Twitter. They just have to click to check it out.
Niteflirt has a new texting option. Do you think this option will work?
Not only do I think the Niteflirt texting option will work, I already make great bank off of it! I am writing a version 2 of my book to add in new features of sites and new sites I have found; this will be added in! Not only do you get paid for each text, but the notifications go to your phone. I instantly know a guy wants to speak with me. I find more guys using this option now than sending me mail messages which I do not get paid for!
I don’t want to give too much away from your book as I found it to be resourceful, but please let our readers know if you are still involved with the talk industry.
Oh, I am still deeply entrenched in the dirty talk business! I do not think I will ever leave. Cliché sounding I know, but I truly do love it. I also do not feel I can make the most complete resource-laden books or site for girls if I exit. I want to personally use all tools I talk about or endorse.
Do you think this industry will survive with the FOSTA/SESTA in place?
As a student of history, I liken SESTA FOSTA to that of the alcohol prohibition. Rules and laws were continuously created, but the industry thrived. I think SESTA FOSTA will be what may break the laws and make prostitution all-out legal and thus more sex workers can come out of the closet. Many believe that will kill the phone sex industry, but I do not believe so. I have guys calling me from countries where prostitution is legal. If there is a need and it hurts no one, SOMEONE will fill it!
What would be new ideas to implement so everyone can stop panicking?
We really need a union. Sadly it is hard to create a union in the adult industry as many of us are not public about our affiliations. Truth be told though, many of my clients are lawyers/senators/politicians… why are we allowing people to create laws to hurt us but they also want to be patrons of us? If we unified, we could guarantee the industry as a whole is healthy, thriving and there would be no sex trafficking to worry about!
What is your opinion of the future for the Adult Industry?
The adult industry will never go anywhere. I believe we will move into VR more but people will still want that personal connection. Everyone wants to feel important to a real somebody. We need to embrace change, not shun it and continue to innovate. After all, the internet became popular because of us! We always have the pulse of new technologies before the vanilla world!
Do you have social media and blogs you would like to share with our readers?
I am most active on Twitter @AmberlyPSO and am building out my resource website for those in the industry at www.amberlyrothfield.com. My DMS are ALWAYS open, even if you don’t follow me. Never fear reaching out!